The Mysterious Case of Pepper's Vanishing Biscuits
by JesterBellsILove
Summary: Pepper baked some biscuits, but someone has taken them all! The culprit will be...shall we say, the most/least likely one of all. Rated T for future chapters. 1 pairing, for now to remain a secret. ON HIATUS
1. Stolen

A random idea I had. Its ending will be better than its beginning, I assure you.

* * *

Pepper sighed with content. Lunch was ready, and an hour earlier than usual! All she felt was necessary to add to complete it were some fresh, savoury biscuits she had baked only that morning. Yes, she thought, they would complement the coup nicely. Then she could make a head start on the evening meal.

She reached across the table and grabbed the biscuit barrel, but, oh, such was her dismay when she found it to be completely empty!

"How could this be?" She thought aloud, beginning to panic. Perhaps it did not matter that she had no biscuits for the soup, but if there was a thief about, it could certainly create a long-term problem for her. She had only put them a scarce few hours ago…

"Mmm, that smells _delicious_, Pepper!" came a voice from behind her. Pepper whipped about. It was Jane, hot and sweaty from her sparring with Gunther, but nonetheless cheerful, for it seemed she had taken the victory today.

"Oh Jane! Thank goodness!" Pepper cried.

"Pepper, what is it?" the red-head girl replied with concern.

"Someone has taken all my biscuits, and I have no idea whom or why!"

"Oh dear. That is a problem. Are you sure you have not just…misplaced…them…?" Jane began to ask, trailing away when she saw Pepper's uncharacteristically furious expression.

"What?!" She spluttered indignantly. "How can one misplace three trays of biscuits? I put them straight into the barrel, as soon as they had cooled!"

"Uh…right…" Said Jane, thinking hard.

There came more soft footsteps and the gentle tinkling of bells. "And what, may I ask, is going on down here, ladies? Ouch!!" For it was Jester, and Pepper, by way of greeting, had thrown the wooden mixing spoon at him.

"Gracious, Pepper!" He squeaked, removing his hat and rubbing his head where the offending spoon had hit. "Honestly, you are going to leave me with a permanent bruise in that one particular spot."

"Was it you?!" Pepper asked angrily, striding over to him and attempting to tower above him with a menacing glare, despite the fact that they were roughly the same height.

"I beg your pardon?" replied Jester, politely puzzled, as he replaced his hat.

"Someone has stolen my biscuits!" Replied the wretched cook, by now, close to tears.

"Well, I can assure you it was not me!"

"That _is_ a surprise." Jane muttered under her breath. Jester glared at her, before turning back to Pepper. He patted her on the back, attempting to comfort her.

"We should ask around. Maybe Rake or Smithy or- or the princess will know what has become of them."

"And what good will that do? I have not left the kitchen since putting them away, and nobody else has come in here all morning. This is just plain odd."

"Nobody? Perhaps…Dragon-?"

"Oh, don't let's be silly, Jester. How could Dragon possibly fit in here?" cried Pepper.

"No, not Dragon." Said Jane. "He has been asleep on the wall in the courtyard outside all morning."

"And you are sure you have not just misplaced-" Jane jumped in front of Jester to prevent Pepper from doing something irrational, such as knocking his head off or strangling him.

"In any case, Pepper, we must find out who the culprit is." She said, calmly.

"Good idea, Lady Knight!" cheered Jester. "With you on the case, we'll uncover the villain in no time."

"Right, come with me, fool." said Jane, grabbing him by the arm. "Do not worry Pepper, we will do our best."

And they left Pepper alone in the kitchen.

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You likey? You reviewy! XD


	2. List

"Now…who were we going to ask first?"

Jester and Jane were taking the sun in the courtyard next to the cherry-blossom tree. No-where in particular, just taking it.

"Uh…well…" Jane considered this. "The thing is, Jester, I know we told Pepper we would do our best, but I'm just not too sure where to start on this one. See, sniffing out Rake's roses is one thing, searching for stolen biscuits is entirely another."

Jester frowned slightly and tilted his head to one side with a soft tinkle. "How so?"

"The biscuits can be disposed of easily, leaving no trace of them behind. Whereas the roses would be certain to disagree with one's stomach if eaten."

"Ah. Another good point, Lady Knight."

They stood in silence for a few minutes, watching some birds picking at the shabby clothes on the practice dummy. Suddenly, Jester clicked his fingers, making Jane jump.

"I know where we should start! Let's make a list of prime suspects for questioning, and work through them."

Jane shook her head. "Surely they would all just deny it."

"Ah, but Jane, who said we were going to be questioning them about _themselves_?" he replied, slyly. "In fact, to make it easier, we could just not tell anybody why we are questioning them at all!"

Jane paused. "All right. It is worth a try, I suppose. You are usually right about these things, after all."

"Usually?!" scoffed the blue-clad boy. "I would have thought 'always' would have been the most appropriate word to use there!"

So they fetched parchment and quill and ink, and sat in Jane's tower room discussing what they already knew and who should go on the list.

"Alright. So we know you didn't take them." said Jester.

"Right."

"And we know I didn't take them-"

"Do we?" giggled Jane, but she soon stopped when she saw her friend's expression. "Oh Jester! It is merely a joke."

"Ha ha."

"Continue on, then."

He resumed, still looking daggers at her. "As much as I highly doubt that Rake or Smithy would take three whole trays of biscuits, especially without asking, I still think it necessary that they go on the list. Agreed?"

"Agreed." said Jane, nodding. "And Smithy's pig?" she suggested, as an afterthought.

"She could prove a difficult suspect to question, but alright." replied Jester, scribbling it down. "Gunther…"

"Is definitely enough of a pig to do it and is most certainly going on that list!" exclaimed the female squire, rather ferociously.

"Yes milady." said Jester, quickly writing down Gunther's name to save his hands from getting chopped off.

"And the prince and princess." added Jane, calming down a little. "Although, we will have to be careful in our questioning them, of course."

Jester wrote it all down, before looking up timidly. "Now, Jane, don't get angry, but are you sure Dragon-"

Jane sighed.

"No, come on, hear me out!"

"He was asleep, Jester, as I have already said."

"I know, and I am not trying to blame him in any way." he said, hastily. "But you were not watching him _all_ morning, and if he did do it, then he could have had an ulterior motive for it. And…and I was just thinking before that Pepper usually keeps the biscuit barrel just by the window, and he may have been able to stick one of his paws-"

"_Claws_," corrected Jane, "In through the window…yes…" She blinked at him, as though finally seeing clearly. "Clever. I never thought of that. Alright, you win. Put his name on the list, then."

Jester gave a little mock cheer and obliged her.

"Well, that seems about it, for now." he stated, looking over their work with a pleased expression on his face.

"…Jester?"

"Yes?"

"Um…" Jane hesitated, looking almost ashamed of herself, and then stared out the window, unseeingly.

"Yes?" Jester repeated with a little more emphasis.

"Oh, this is going to sound horrible, Jester."

"Just say it. As far as I know, it's only me who can hear you."

"Yes…well…it is just that…Pepper may or may not have been…lying to us. No, wait, that is not what I mean. Well…yes…it is. What I mean to say is that, it could have been planned as a joke or- or more likely, a decoy of some kind. A small part of a much bigger plan?" She looked up, hopefully.

Jester's expression was unreadable.

Jane looked at the floor. "Never mind." he heard her mumble. "That was mean. I don't know why I even thought of it-"

"No." said Jester, suddenly and decidedly. "You do make a valid point, there. I'll put Pepper's name on the list (doing so as he said it), but only as a last resort, okay? I would hate to have to question her about her own biscuits so soon."

"Me too." agreed Jane with a shudder. "Let me see it, then."

He handed her the list. It now looked like this:

Prime Suspects

Drake

Jethro

Pig

Gunther

Prince Cuthbert

Princess Lavinia

Dragon

Verbena?

"Jester, why have you written Smithy, Rake and Pepper's proper names?" Jane questioned.

"Because, my dear Jane, very few people here at the castle know their real names, and the three persons in question, excluding Pepper, cannot read much yet, not even their own names, as I have only taught them how to read and write their common names, so far." came the lofty reply. "This will therefore make our list much more inconspicuous if it is left lying around for other people to read, yes?"

"True…good thinking…" Jane answered, slowly. "But what about if one of the royal family see it? One of the knights…or a member of the senior staff, or- or even the merchant?"

"Simple. We just tell them that it is a game we are playing with the royal children."

"That should work…hopefully…what about Gunther, though? He is not likely to believe us if we tell him a story like that."

Jester looked quizzical. "He is not likely to care what we are doing, anyway, is he?"

Jane looked slightly skeptical at this, and opened her mouth to say something. But she stopped short, as they were interrupted at that moment by Pepper, calling them for lunch.

Minus the biscuits, of course.

They got up and left, Jester stuffing the list hastily into his coat pocket as they went.


End file.
